Alcohol and unrequited crushes do not a happy Saturday night make.
Gathered to celebrate two friends' combined birthdays at Riverland, which rapidly filled with noxious yuppies, I found myself growing uncomfortable because my flatmate was getting friendly with a bloke I've fancied for several years (but who I've never said actually said anything to about my feelings, since my own interest was obviously not returned).
Half an hour later I left in order to meet a work committment, eventually coming home and going to bed. An hour later, I'm rudely awoken by my flatmate and the guy I've been lusting after for two or three years bursting through the front door, chucking on the tv (loudly) and canoodling on the couch.
That's when I lost it. Frustrated and hurt that my flatmate is hooking up with someone I fancy (despite having earlier in the night told said flatmate to go for it, not for a moment thinking he actually would),I got angry, stormed into the loungeroom and demanded they turn the bloody tv down, and then stalked out into the night to seethe and make drunken, angry phone calls. Half an hour later I come home, tell them I'm acting so childishly because I'm jealous, and go back to bed.
To say that the atmosphere in the flat this morning was uncomfortable would be like calling World War Two a minor European altercation. Why does my love life (and the lack thereof) have to be so goddamn complicated?
3 comments:
Icky.
In a way, it‘s good you explained why you were acting that way, but I suppose it sent the awkward meter off the scale.
What a crappy situation!
Not so much off the scale as exploded it, I suspect, caoin. *sigh* let this be a lesson for me: never tell someone that you're over a lust object until you're absoultely 100% sure - otherwise when you see them getting off with someone you know, all that longing boils over in drunken histrionics!
ouch! on the plus side, i reckon it takes a big person to admit that stuff. jealousy is an ugly creature but it's no less real and valid for that. i think it's good to get this kind of thing off your chest.
oh, and *squeezes* a hug for you...x
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